Practice Listening

The most important of the five mingle techniques is called Practice Listening. I will tell some stories later why listening is important to me and some people I know. The best way to learn why listening is important is to start practicing. So here we go!

Mingle Training is Doing, Not Reading. Let´s Go!

  • Be alone. Find a private space for your practice. Where you will not be interrupted. You need a wall with a mirror.
  • Write three questions. The first three you think about. The questions are supposed to sound odd, not clever.
  • Practice in front of the mirror. First the first question ten times. Look into your left eye. Give yourself a friendly smile. Ask the question and be quiet. Count to sixteen slowly in your head while smiling to yourself. Focus on your breathing. Breath slower. Repeat ten times with each of the three question.
  • Write down the names of seven friends. You are going to call and talk to three of them.
  • With the names in front of you, rewrite the three questions.
  • Make the three phone calls in front of the mirror. For each time you listen to the phone beeing connected. Look into your left eye. Give yourself a friendly smile. Breath. When your friend answers say “Hei, det er meg. Jeg øver meg på å stille spørsmål. Kan jeg stille deg et spørsmål?” Ask the question and be quiet. Listen while smiling to yourself. Focus on your breathing. Breath slower, deeper calmer.
  • Open your calender and find three times the next week when you are likely to meet someone you already know. Mark those three times for Listening Practice. Write three names of people you are likely to meet.
  • Make a new training appointment with yourself within the next seven days. At that training appointment you should write some notes from each Listening Practice you did.
  • With the names in front of you, rewrite the three questions. The questions you ask should be useful to answer for each of the three you are planning to meet.
  • :-D


Read more about mingle technique in this norwegian blogpost: Få folk til å snakke om jobben sin, Slik spør du folk hva de gjør for å ha det gøy! or this english blogpost: How to Get Her to Tell You What She Does For Fun.

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